New Beginnings.

It's been a long time since I've been here. Like I said in my last post - things have been stressful around here. Luckily, somethings have straightened themselves out - and some, we just have to hope and wait on.

So here we are, a week past new years (ok, maybe two...). Have you made your resolution? Have you kept your resolution? LOL.. I don't make resolutions, because I CAN'T keep them.
No matter how hard I frickin try, I can't manage to stick it out. Agh. Oh well. If you are stickin to it... awesome. I am in awe. You are my hero. :) I am again going to ask for your help.

I have a hard time saying "I'm a photographer". I've practiced in front of a mirror, I've done all sorts of silly things, but I still.can't.say.it. when the time is right. Coincidentally, life has been throwing me TONS of opportunities to do just this thing. Just the other day I was standing in line at target and watching the lady unload the CUTEST newborn pajamas EVER. She was telling the cashier "my son just had his first baby today" in that super-excited-new-grandmother fashion. In my mind, I was super charming and sweet, and swooped over and said "Awwww, congratulations! I LOVE babies - in fact I photograph them!" while handing her my card.

In reality I choked. I cleared my throat like 5 times - until they noticed my discomfort. Ugh. This was NOT happening. My hands got sweaty clutching the card in my pocket - I turned it over. and over. and over.

I watched the ecstatic new grandmother wheel away excitedly to meet her new grandson. Tears welled in my eyes. "That crud you have is the worst" the checkout lady said - "never really leaves ya, just hangs on forever." I nodded.

The opportunity had been RIGHT there, begging me to face myself. And I didn't. Couldn't. No- wouldn't.

For me, as a new photographer, I have a hard time believing in my work enough to just say it to a perfect stranger.

This is my ONE goal for 2010 -
to believe in myself enough to say to ANYONE I come across that "I am a photographer".


I humbly ask for your support and advice and encouragement. I can't do it without all of you.


Just so we're all clear here- and don't take this as a wishy-washy resolution (I suck at those, remember?) I have started the ball rolling already.
I submitted a video declaring that VERY thing to a national photographic scholarship application.
No - I didn't recieve a scholarship. But. I was brave enough to say it to a camera, and then upload that video for thousands to see.
I intend to see this thing through.


So- It's 2010. And I, Sarah Permeh, am a photographer. New beginnings are wonderful - don't you think?


I'm so gonna rock this thing.

Have you ever? | Things that define me.

I have a confession to make.

I am in L-O-V-E with Brandi Carlile. If you don't know who she is, she is an awesome singer/musician/songwriter from Seattle, WA. You can check her out HERE. Honesty, emotion, and vulnerability shine through her performances. That's like the holy trinity of music, right? :) Think about it... it grabs us, makes us think, makes us feel. It's real.


Realness is important to me. I seek out the organic (and I'm not talking the whole-foods movement here...); the raw and real. The vulnerable. I am inspired by people who wear their flaws openly and proudly. Part of me knows that's why I loved my career in Mental Health so much. There's no pretense.. everyone is who they are. Crazy, not crazy; none of it matters. Everyone has a story. Most want to share it, if only someone would listen. My grandmother - she was that someone. My father - he is that someone. Me, I strive to be that someone. I have been blessed with amazing people to guide my philosophies on life and love and kindness and gratitude. But- that's another post. Another time.

Everything I do in my everydayness - I try to stay real. I try to love. I try to share stories. That's all our lives are... a story. When all is said and done.. what will yours say?

In my photography, I try to capture the realness. The organic. The story.
The biggest compliment I could ever, ever imagine is a mother saying "THAT is who my child is". I try to stay real and honest, so if I ever stray away from that, feel free to send a swift kick my way. Really, I'll love you for it. :)

So, I wanted to post some song lyrics that really stick with me. They are to Brandi Carlile's song "have you ever?" and go like this:

Have you ever wandered lonely through the woods?
And everything there feels just as it should
You're part of the life there
You're part of something good
If you've ever wandered lonely through the woods
if you've ever wandered lonlely through the woods

Have you ever stared into a starry sky?
Lying on your back you're asking why
What's the purpose I wonder who am I
If you've ever stared into a starry sky
Have you ever stared into a starry sky

Have you ever been out walking in the snow?
Tried to get back to where you were before
You always end up not knowing where to go
If you've ever been out walking in the snow
If you'd ever been out walking you would know


See why this resonated within me?
Welcome to my church, my sanctuary, my meditation:


Enjoy this day! For the ups and downs, and the for the story that is being created. Right. Now.

♥