I've Moved!!

http://www.sarahpermeh.com/

Come check out the new digs! (Aka this blog has moved!)

See ya there!

New Beginnings.

It's been a long time since I've been here. Like I said in my last post - things have been stressful around here. Luckily, somethings have straightened themselves out - and some, we just have to hope and wait on.

So here we are, a week past new years (ok, maybe two...). Have you made your resolution? Have you kept your resolution? LOL.. I don't make resolutions, because I CAN'T keep them.
No matter how hard I frickin try, I can't manage to stick it out. Agh. Oh well. If you are stickin to it... awesome. I am in awe. You are my hero. :) I am again going to ask for your help.

I have a hard time saying "I'm a photographer". I've practiced in front of a mirror, I've done all sorts of silly things, but I still.can't.say.it. when the time is right. Coincidentally, life has been throwing me TONS of opportunities to do just this thing. Just the other day I was standing in line at target and watching the lady unload the CUTEST newborn pajamas EVER. She was telling the cashier "my son just had his first baby today" in that super-excited-new-grandmother fashion. In my mind, I was super charming and sweet, and swooped over and said "Awwww, congratulations! I LOVE babies - in fact I photograph them!" while handing her my card.

In reality I choked. I cleared my throat like 5 times - until they noticed my discomfort. Ugh. This was NOT happening. My hands got sweaty clutching the card in my pocket - I turned it over. and over. and over.

I watched the ecstatic new grandmother wheel away excitedly to meet her new grandson. Tears welled in my eyes. "That crud you have is the worst" the checkout lady said - "never really leaves ya, just hangs on forever." I nodded.

The opportunity had been RIGHT there, begging me to face myself. And I didn't. Couldn't. No- wouldn't.

For me, as a new photographer, I have a hard time believing in my work enough to just say it to a perfect stranger.

This is my ONE goal for 2010 -
to believe in myself enough to say to ANYONE I come across that "I am a photographer".


I humbly ask for your support and advice and encouragement. I can't do it without all of you.


Just so we're all clear here- and don't take this as a wishy-washy resolution (I suck at those, remember?) I have started the ball rolling already.
I submitted a video declaring that VERY thing to a national photographic scholarship application.
No - I didn't recieve a scholarship. But. I was brave enough to say it to a camera, and then upload that video for thousands to see.
I intend to see this thing through.


So- It's 2010. And I, Sarah Permeh, am a photographer. New beginnings are wonderful - don't you think?


I'm so gonna rock this thing.

Ahh... the joy of - Stress?!

I have been neglecting this blog.
I won't lie. I have opened this very page, to make my entry, and I am so drained by the end of the day that no words come. I am going to work on changing that. Promise. One of my goals for the next year is to better my photography business by A LOT, so this is a major player in all of that. Expect more positive posts from me in the future, k?

I am stressed out people. Like that really, paralyzing, all-encompassing kind of stressed out. Sometime soon I'll be able to share why, I suppose, but until then I prefer to keep it under wraps... you know. Sometimes, the tears come; at others, that heavy weight of confusion and powerlessness tugs at my shoulders.
I feel like I am at a pivotal point in my life, and that the decisions I make now will greatly effect many people's outcomes. Deep stuff, eh?

It's not all deep, I promise. I just wanted to share why I have been horribly neglectful of this blog. At this point, I totally feel guilty for wanting a photography business, for having dreams and goals, and for attempting to reach them.
Times like these make me thankful for that little voice in the back of my brain that whispers "what if, sarah" "you can do anything, sarah". These days that voice is getting stronger, if only by sheer will. I certainly have NO idea where it is gathering the energy!

I want to soar. I want to give. I want to love. I want to have faith.

Right at this moment, I want to cry.
But. I. Can't.


If you have an extra prayer for me right now, I would so return the favor.

Have you ever? | Things that define me.

I have a confession to make.

I am in L-O-V-E with Brandi Carlile. If you don't know who she is, she is an awesome singer/musician/songwriter from Seattle, WA. You can check her out HERE. Honesty, emotion, and vulnerability shine through her performances. That's like the holy trinity of music, right? :) Think about it... it grabs us, makes us think, makes us feel. It's real.


Realness is important to me. I seek out the organic (and I'm not talking the whole-foods movement here...); the raw and real. The vulnerable. I am inspired by people who wear their flaws openly and proudly. Part of me knows that's why I loved my career in Mental Health so much. There's no pretense.. everyone is who they are. Crazy, not crazy; none of it matters. Everyone has a story. Most want to share it, if only someone would listen. My grandmother - she was that someone. My father - he is that someone. Me, I strive to be that someone. I have been blessed with amazing people to guide my philosophies on life and love and kindness and gratitude. But- that's another post. Another time.

Everything I do in my everydayness - I try to stay real. I try to love. I try to share stories. That's all our lives are... a story. When all is said and done.. what will yours say?

In my photography, I try to capture the realness. The organic. The story.
The biggest compliment I could ever, ever imagine is a mother saying "THAT is who my child is". I try to stay real and honest, so if I ever stray away from that, feel free to send a swift kick my way. Really, I'll love you for it. :)

So, I wanted to post some song lyrics that really stick with me. They are to Brandi Carlile's song "have you ever?" and go like this:

Have you ever wandered lonely through the woods?
And everything there feels just as it should
You're part of the life there
You're part of something good
If you've ever wandered lonely through the woods
if you've ever wandered lonlely through the woods

Have you ever stared into a starry sky?
Lying on your back you're asking why
What's the purpose I wonder who am I
If you've ever stared into a starry sky
Have you ever stared into a starry sky

Have you ever been out walking in the snow?
Tried to get back to where you were before
You always end up not knowing where to go
If you've ever been out walking in the snow
If you'd ever been out walking you would know


See why this resonated within me?
Welcome to my church, my sanctuary, my meditation:


Enjoy this day! For the ups and downs, and the for the story that is being created. Right. Now.

♥

Gunderson Family | Session Faves!

Last Sunday I got to meet an awesome family - The Gundersons. Mom and I have known each other... oh for forever. :) But, meeting her beautiful family was a first for me and I am so grateful that I got the chance. You know those families that just "fit"? This is one of those families. They are so relaxed and at ease with one another... not an easy task when you have three (read: energetic!) little ones!

We had a perfect fall day to spend in one of my favorite places. The colors were rich and the light was beautiful... all a recipe for awesome photography!

Kristy! Here's your peek! :)
I had so much fun with your family.. I cannot thank you enough for allowing me the opportunity to know and capture them. I hope you love these as much as I do.

I have the month of November open for last minute fall portraits, and am working on designing holiday cards and gift certificates! Woohoo! That's a whole separate post, though. Please let me know if there is anything else you would like to see offered... I can't do this without all of you!

Let me just say that I LOVE my clients! They are awesome and their faith in me is inspiring. My clients drive me to be better as a photographer and as a person. I am so excited for the future with them and seeing their families grow! Much love to you all!


Peace and love,

Sarah

I love

Saturdays.

So much to fit into so many hours. Up until just recently, I was usually super busy on Saturdays, having to work every other weekend at a local hospital. I made a leap of faith. My leap was to step away from a solid, stable job I loved to staying home most days with my kids.... Something I have never done. My faith was to trust that life/fate/(insert religious icon here) would take care of me. Because of this leap, my Saturdays are much, much different. No longer rushed to squeeze in everything, I can sit back and relax. Though we still have plenty to do, it seems so much easier to enjoy the time.

Saturdays have gotten a lot better. :)

The funny thing is, I never expected to see such a change in myself. My really, really true self that I have neglected to acknowledge for years now. I have always been creative. Art was something I excelled at. Music, too. Even more important, those were the things that brought me daily joy and peace. Somewhere along the lines of growing up and being responsible, I forgot about those things. The leap brought those back to me. (ah ha! That's the change...) I have passion, patience, and creativity again. I had to buy a journal to write all of my ideas down into - they just keep coming!

Peace. With myself as a mother, knowing I am there for my kids anytime. Peace with myself. For being myself.

It is a wonderful thing. I'm so glad I jumped.

Other things I LOVE this saturday:

Smelling my babies heads.

Twitter. Haha.

Fall flowers.

Golden Oreos.

Orange. Anything Orange. The really rich orange that accompanies fall.

Hats with earflaps.

Morning Frost.

Slippers.

Helping with first grade homework.

Pressing a tiger scout uniform.

Hazel. ♥

Connecting with women photographers. We rock!

To Do lists.

Dreaming.

Gourds, apples and pumpkins.

Crockpots.

Lipgoo.

Socks.

Orange Spice tea.

Cinnamon.

Wearing glasses.

Fall scented candles.

Brandi Carlile!!

costumes.

candy!

fresh bread.

my friends.

planning to see my friends soon!

Earth day conversations.

Two year olds.

Windex.



Have a beautiful day!
Oh, the fall flowers?
Here they are:

And a snap of a very proud tiger scout:





Have a great Sunday!

Chasing my dreams...

Change is in the air. In northern Minnesota, the leaves are crisp and bright, and the earth is cool and sweet. The gardens have been turned, pulled up; harvest has been claimed and celebrated. Autumn is my absolute favorite time of year- though it is bittersweet.

Change is hard for me. It always has been. From the time I was a little girl, I remember throwing big fat tears when my dad would shave off his mustache. I remember sobbing and a sense of abandonment when we bought a new car and had to leave the old in a cold, dark parking lot. Where would that car go? What if it missed me? What about the glitter I had spilled in the back seat -it was so pretty to look at.

This has followed me into adulthood, though now I embrace it as a part of who I am. The fears and questions that surround Change have been altered, but the fear itself has not.

This summer, Change has hit our family and household in many forms. It is not a story of tragedy - rather one of choice. Choosing to make change is not any less scary. At ALL. :)
Choosing to make Change is however, freeing. It is liberating. And it is terrifying.
I have been afraid to share that change with my friends and family openly for fear of failure.
It is now my choice to share it here, with anyone who happens to stumble upon this blog. And yes, I am terrified. :)

This blog will be documenting my life, both photographically and personally. I hope you don't find it as terrifying as I do.

Have you had a recent change in your life? How are you dealing with it? What are the things that you do to keep you from wavering along your path?
Please share with me in your comments... for truly, we are all along this journey together.

With that, let the games begin!
Onward!

One last goodbye to summer:

Enjoy the change of the seasons. It brings good things.